I love Fridays. I know most people do, but for me, I think it’s the anticipation of what’s possible on the weekend. I look forward and I think, wow, with two days off from work, I could maybe do this or write x number of pages or whatever.
I feel this same way as I finish a chapter. Because I’m not much for plotting ahead, after I finish a chapter, I sit down and write down scene goals for the next. The possibilities are endless. This, of course, is before my characters chirp up and tell me what they want to do, but there’s this moment….
Right now, though, this scene goal list seems kind of scary to work on. Which direction is the story going to take? I’m kind of at a turning point and which way are we going? (Not the royal we, but the h/h and me we.) The WIP, which will forever be known to me as the Book From Hell, has had so many fits and starts. I’ve gone so many wrong directions and had to cut and rewrite and cut some more. So while I feel anticipation about what this turning point will lead to, I also feel fear. I can’t take another wrong turn.
I never used to think about things like this or worry about them. Once upon a time, I only felt the anticipation, the possibilities stretched out in front of me. And I wonder if it’s only this book where there’s anxiousness mixed in or if I’ll have it forever. Maybe most writers feel the nerves and I was just blissfully ignorant before now.
The fear is strong enough that I’ve begun to wonder if plotting is a bad thing. 
I’ve never been a pure pantser anyway. But the idea of writing a 60 page outline leaves me shuddering in repulsion, so I’m thinking this isn’t going to happen. At least not soon.
I have almost no idea what happens next in the book–not yet–although I’m pretty sure it’s going to be in Maia’s POV. She’s easier for me to write than Creed and this chapter I just finished was in his point of view. I shook her up the last time she appeared, so there are possibilities leading from that too. I’ll have to get her to talk on my drive in to work–unless traffic is ugly and I need to pay attention.
So if you’re a writer, do you feel the anxiety at starting a new chapter? Or do you only feel the possibilities stretched out in front of you like I used to? I’m curious about this.
Now the weekend that lies ahead has possibilities too. My chapter meets tomorrow and I’d really like to go to that. A newly published author is doing a Journey of a Novel, and she was the only one to come out to a book signing me and a couple of other chapter members did last summer, so I’d like to go and support her. And I like going to meetings anyway. I used to never go, despite having the best of intentions, but now that I know people and don’t feel like such a dork, it’s a nice chance to interact with other writers.
The problems about going are: 1) it’s damn cold here and it’s going to be damn cold this weekend too. In fact, our Tuesday warm up that the weather guys promised has been pushed back again and we’re going to stay cold for another week. 2) I need to write one of the endless possibilities for the next chapter of the WIP and I don’t seem to get much writing done on chapter meeting days.
Decisions, possibilities.
