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Archive for December, 2010

Adventures In Chair Assembly

Friday, December 10th, 2010

At work on Tuesday, the 757 engineers received new desk chairs. Unassembled.

(In case you’re wondering why I didn’t get a new chair, it’s because I’m no longer part of 757 Engineering. I’m now in Maintenance Programs and under a different manager.)

My first thought upon seeing this unassembled chairs is that this should be right up an engineer’s alley. Most of them have hobbies that seem to involve putting things together–or taking things apart and then putting them back together. Apparently, chairs are another story.

Instructions? We don’t need no stinking instructions! Then he turns to me and asks what he should do first. I said I think you’d start by putting the casters in the base. It makes sense, right? Start at the bottom? So he opens the plastic bag with the casters and hands me the instructions. A quick glance at the paper said I was right, but even after asking me do you think that’s what the engineer did? Um, no.

While I’m perusing the directions, he decides to insert the pneumatic cylinder into the seat bottom. The reason I know it was the pneumatic cylinder is that’s what it was called in step 2. I would have just called it the tube thing. ;-)

When I glanced up and saw what he was doing, I was like, dude, that’s step 2 and you’re putting the cylinder in the wrong place anyway. I showed him Figure 1.

At his objection to having to follow the instructions, I said, “I’m glad I’m not going to be sitting in that chair.” He reconsidered doing things his way and decided to give the manufacturer’s process a chance.

At this point, one of the tech writers came in and sat down. All our tech writers are former airplane mechanics, so I figured they didn’t need my presence. While the two of them were working to install the casters, I excused myself for a restroom run. When I came back, the casters were in the base and the pneumatic cylinder had been installed correctly. Mostly. The men had decided to remove the plastic sheath. I was told I never should have left them on their own. Hmm.

I spent the rest of the assembly process reading directions aloud. And rereading them. And holding out the paper and pointing to the diagrams.

The final outcome? Chair was assembled, but the tilt feature won’t work. All in all, I thought we did well. I’m still kind of amazed, though, that an engineer and a former mechanic needed me to help them get that chair together.

The Big Spew

Tuesday, December 7th, 2010

I’ve been talking with a friend about all the verbal spewing I’ve been doing on the Work In Progress (WIP). Usually, this includes a lament about what a mess it is and how I’m used to writing clean first drafts. And I am. My revision run after the first draft is done is usually very short.

I’m having a little trouble adjusting to this style of writing. Yesterday, I thought, I’ve never spewed like this before and I don’t like it now. Then I realized this wasn’t true.

Thinking back a few years, I remember talking to a different writer friend and using the phrase: barfing on the page. Yeah, not the best visual ever, sorry. Okay, so this means that I used to write this way. I survived it. I’ll survive it this time, too.

It’s so tough, though, to think about all the work I’m going to have to do when this proposal draft is done. It’s going to be time consuming and not even a little bit fun.

There are advantages to this method. For one thing, the writing is faster than my excruciatingly slow, almost ready to go first drafts. Those require a great deal of thinking as I write. The other thing that’s nice is that as I’m spewing, I’m learning more about my characters. I always know the hero and heroine well before I start writing, but I still pick up more info as I write in their Points Of View (POV). This spewing has me getting more info, faster. The minus is that most of this will need to be cut because it’s not interesting to anyone except me.

As hard as it is for me to think about how messy these scenes and chapters are, I’ve decided to push forward with this method. One of the best pieces of advice I received after I sold was from a long published author who told me that process will change, sometimes from book to book, and to just go with what works. I’m trying.

The Adventure of English

Monday, December 6th, 2010

Recently, Audible had a $4.95 sale for members. At that price, I decided I could afford to try a few books, but I ended up with only one: The Adventure of English by Melvyn Bragg. It’s a history of the English language through the ages, and as a major word geek, I couldn’t resist.

First, I think that this is one book that is greatly enhanced by being in audio and would recommend hearing it instead of reading it. The narrator does the different dialects from old English to middle English to Scots, Irish, Australian, American, Caribbean and a host of others. That’s something that the written word can’t convey the way the spoken word can, and for me, it added a lot to the information. Hearing old English spoken was a first for me and I found it pretty cool.

Second, this book also proved that the narrator can make or break an audio edition. Luckily, I found this man very easy to listen to, and to my ears, he sounded dead on with his accents. Of course, I have no experience with old English, but still, it sounded good to me. :-)

The history of English is actually pretty fascinating. It could have died out when the Normans invaded England, but was helped along by a war with France and the plague. English borrowed heavily from French at several junctures and the Norman invasion was merely the first wave. We also have stolen words from just about every other language on the planet.

My favorite part of the book was the beginning and through the medieval period. I found the parts on American English riveting, too, but since I’m American, I figure I’m a bit biased there. As I listened, we went through a battalion of words and where they came from, but it was done in a fascinating way and I loved it! Chocolate is Aztec via Spanish. The most common words in English are nearly all from the root language that English grew out of. Skyscraper in its current definition came from American English, but it had previous meanings, including a ship’s sail, a hat, and a tall person.

Not all of the history of English was comfortable to listen to, but I suppose that’s to be expected. To give the language a fair look, one does have to take the bad with the good.

I truly enjoyed this book and would highly recommend it in audio format, but I did have a couple of things that I didn’t love. I wish some of the topics and/or time periods could have been looked at in more depth. At approximately 12 hours long, there wasn’t room for a great deal of deeper analysis and I would have enjoyed spending more time on things.

An example would be “The Great Vowel Shift” that happened after the English language had been standardized in spelling (mostly) and which is why many of our words are spelled differently than they’re pronounced. What we hear is that it’s too lengthy to get into, and I can understand that, but I would have at least appreciated hearing a brief summary or overview of how the vowels shifted. As it stood, I was left curious as all get out, but with no answers.

The other thing I would have liked to have seen mentioned was the effect of media on the language. The book talks about English moving forward because of the financial might of the countries that speak English, but it doesn’t really mention the effect of say, movies. Let’s face it, for a long time, Hollywood was the world’s movie capital. Wouldn’t that have an effect on speech around the world? What about the effect it had on promoting American English over British English across the world?

At the end, the author talks about how the world’s English might split off into different dialects the way Latin split off into Italian, French, etc, but wouldn’t a worldwide media situation like we have now promote a more homogenous language instead of less? That question wasn’t even raised let alone answered and I was curious.

But the things that bothered me were few and the large majority of the book was awesome. Highly recommend.

I’m a Thwarted Book Cheater

Friday, December 3rd, 2010

Today, I was talking ebooks with a couple of my friends. I love my Kindle, I can’t say that enough, but there’s a limitation to reading electronically that makes me nuts–I can’t skip ahead. Not conveniently.

I cheat when I read. When I’m reading a paperback, I’ll skip ahead and skim a few pages farther on. I’ll jump a few chapters forward and do the same. And my favorite thing of all, I’ll jump to the end and read the last scene. Sure you can do this kind of in a Kindle, but not as easily as in paper.

Maybe I shouldn’t cheat as I read. I know readers who are appalled that I do this, but I also know there are other readers who do the same thing I do. We discussed it and the numbers seemed pretty evenly split, not that I kept a tally of any sort.

I’m not sure why I cheat ahead when I read or when it started, but I do know it’s a very ingrained habit and my biggest frustration reading ebooks. If only I could skip ahead without messing up my place in the book. If only I could skip ahead without having to hit page forward repeatedly until I get far enough ahead from where I’m at to do my skim reading.

If there’s a Table of Contents, it makes it slightly easier, but not by much. Then I have to open the menu, click on go to TOC, and then hit the hyperlink to take me forward. If there is a clickable TOC. :-(

When I talked to my friends, I also expressed my dissatisfaction with the rereading experience in electronic format. You see, usually when I reread, I don’t go through the entire book. I just hit the scenes or parts of the scenes that I really enjoyed and want to revisit. Sure, I can bookmark the spot in the Kindle, but while I’m reading, I’m either too enthralled by the story to think of bookmarking or I don’t realize that this particular scene is going to end up being a favorite. Sometimes that only makes itself known after I’m finished.

All this said, I still buy the bulk of my fiction now in electronic format. I love the instant gratification. I love having multiple choices on what to read when I have my Kindle with me. I love not having to build more bookshelves. LOL! My dad was getting a little crabby when I asked him to make me one toward the end.

Adventures In Microwaving

Wednesday, December 1st, 2010

Yes, it’s true. I can even find adventure when I try to cook in the microwave. Some people are just not cut out to be chefs.

So it’s time to heat up some leftovers in the microwave. I have these great containers from Lock & Lock (not a paid reference, I just really like their product) and I used one of those. The directions say not to lock down the lid before microwaving and I’ve always been good about making sure it’s not closed. I did the same thing this time–rested the lid on top of the container without locking it.

This time things didn’t go quite the way I expected.

When I opened the microwave, the cover of the bowl was concave. No big deal, I figured, I’ll just take off the lid and it will pop back into place. Only I couldn’t get the lid off.

I wrapped one arm around the bowl and tugged with all my might with the other. Nada. It actually took a while before I gave up on the tugging strategy. I was sure if I could just pull hard enough… But I couldn’t. Clearly, it was time for Plan B.

My second idea involved putting the bowl in the refrigerator. The cold would cause the silicone seal to retract and I’d be able to take the lid off. No. On to Plan C.

Next, I Googled for help. I couldn’t be the only person this had happened to. I wasn’t. I found a couple of people asking my question. The first few answers I found were less than helpful. One suggestion was putting the lid on upside down when microwaving. Um, hello? The person who posted wanted to know how to get the lid off (and so did I!), telling us what to do the next time doesn’t help with this time.

I continued through the responses, most of which were how to heat in Lock & Lock in the future. Yeah, thanks. Finally, I hit a reply that offered a solution. I just didn’t like the solution. This woman had punctured her lid to break the seal. Really. I wasn’t ready to do that and I kept reading.

The best solution I found involved using a screwdriver to pry up the edges of the lid until the seal was popped. I used a butter knife. Actually, I used four of them, one pried up on each side. Then with the fourth one, I really worked it in the slot. Then I heard it. The little whoosh as the seal finally gave way! Success!

On the plus side, I don’t think my digging in with the knives caused any damage to the silicone or the plastic. On the minus end of things, my lid is still concave and I don’t think it’s going to pop out again. I console myself with the fact that I didn’t have to puncture anything.


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