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A Little Cam – Last Part

Sunday, March 14th, 2010

I added another page to the Cam and Damon scene I posted last week. I’ve included the original pages so that if you didn’t read it, there’s no need to search backward. Also, so that anyone who wants to read it in one fell swoop has it all in one place. I will try to post more next Sunday.

Warning: This is rough first draft and only part of the scene.

This story is copyright 2010 by Patti O’Shea. Please link to the story if you like, but do not copy.

* * *

Cameron Brody leaned back, propping both elbows on the deck railing, and looked inside the house. His parents were in the kitchen, cleaning up after dinner and he could see them talking with each other. There was a lot of smiling, frequent laughter, and he felt something around his heart ease.

Coming home on leave had been the right decision.

He’d almost stayed on post. Cam knew he’d changed a lot since the last time he’d seen his family, but then battle did that to a man.

His brothers had taken off hours ago. It was Friday night and they had things to do, places to be. He’d never been all that close to them, but the age difference made it hard to relate. Cam was twenty-four–he’d been through West Point and fought in the war. His brothers were six and eight years younger–still in high school and more worried about the brand of jeans they wore than about things that really mattered.

As he watched, his dad danced his mom around the kitchen, and with a faint smile, Cam turned, resting his forearms on the railing. He stared off into the woods that surrounded the property and allowed himself to enjoy the warmth of the summer evening. All his life he’d had his parents’ love for each other and their love for him as a bulwark against the world. It steadied something inside him to see nothing had changed, that their feelings continued to run deeply. He wanted that, too. Some day.

Cam sighed and watched the birds flit around the trees. His dad had been in combat, he’d been part of Special Operations, and if he could make it through war, so could Cam. But damn, he thought he’d been prepared. His dad had told him what it was like, had been brutally frank about the ugliness of battle, and between that and the simulation training he’d taken, Cam had thought he’d be able to handle it easily.

He couldn’t.

Nothing could have prepared him to kill, to watch men around him fall to enemy fire. Nothing could erase what he’d seen from his memory. He leaned farther forward, dropping his head nearly to his hands.

“Are you okay?”

With a jerk, Cam straightened. He hadn’t heard his dad come up and he hadn’t thought anyone would be able to get the drop on him, not as wound up as he was from being in the field. “Fine.”

His dad looked skeptical, but instead of arguing, he invited, “Why don’t we take a walk?”

The urge to refuse was strong, but there was no good reason to say no. There were hours of daylight left, and if he declined, it would probably lead to more pointed questions. With a shrug, Cam capitulated. “Sure.”

Parkland abutted the property, isolating them from civilization, and despite his worry about his dad quizzing him, they simply walked. Early evening sunshine filtered through the leaves of the trees, dappling the path they were taking, a light breeze ruffled his hair, birds called to each other, and rabbits scurried away. Jamming his hands in the pockets of his jeans, he focused on all this and tried to ignore the presence of his dad beside him.

But the silence begin to wear on him. When was his dad going to say something? There was no doubt he would and the waiting pulled Cam’s nerves taut. Another ten minutes passed and he couldn’t take it anymore. “Aren’t you going to interrogate me?”

“Did you want me to ask questions?”

Cam felt his dad’s eyes on him, but he kept his gaze straight ahead. “No.”

“Then I won’t.”

What did that mean? Cam turned the words over in his mind, but he didn’t find any answers. Damn, his dad could be cryptic when he wanted to be. Cam lost his focus on the trees, on the birds. The quiet coming from the man beside him seemed heavy, oppressive.

He cracked. “When I close my eyes, all I see is blood. I thought I could handle this, but I can’t seem to take it in stride, not like you did.”

“You think I escaped unscathed?” His dad’s disbelief came through loud and clear. “No one leaves war unaffected, certainly not me. I still have nightmares about things that happened when I was your age.”

That stopped Cam in his tracks. “You?” he asked, looking at his dad for the first time since they left the house.

“Yeah, me.”

“But you never said anything, not about any specific incident.”

“I don’t like to talk about it, something you should understand.”

Yeah, Cam didn’t have a lot of room to complain. He didn’t want to discuss the stuff that he’d seen either. “How much does Mom know?”

“Everything.”

He tried to wrap his mind around that. “You told Mom?”

“We don’t have secrets, not about anything important.”

Yeah, he could see how close they were, but to share war stories? “But Mom is delicate.”

Throwing his head back, his dad laughed. “Damn, Cam,” he said when he had the amusement under control, “I thought you were more observant than that.”

Cam scowled. “Mom’s tiny.”

“Compared to us, yes, she’s tiny, but she’s not delicate. Your mom is as tough as they come, she’s had to be.”

Tough? His mom? “But you’re so protective of her.”

“Because she’s my world.”

The words were simple, but held so much emotion that Cam became uncomfortable and he had to look away. He pulled his hands out of his pockets, found a broad tree trunk just off the path, and leaned against it.

“Sure, maybe Mom’s tough when it comes to facing down a teacher who’s been treating one of her kids unfairly, but no way is she tough enough to deal with the kinds of things we’ve seen.”

For a long moment, his dad stared at him and Cam wondered what he was thinking. He didn’t have too long to wait.

“You know, your mom was on a Colonization Assessment Team. They don’t send people who aren’t tough to planets light years away from Earth. She was one of twenty on Jarved Nine–it takes a special kind of courage to be part of that.”

That gave Cam pause. He’d known about the CAT assignment, but he hadn’t considered what it meant. Not really. He tried to imagine the isolation and couldn’t. Pushing away from the tree, he said, “Let’s head to the creek.”

As they walked some more, he thought about his mom, but he couldn’t seem to switch his mindset about her. “You know, I can’t even visualize that. She’s just Mom.”

“Then the rest will blow your mind.”

Cam couldn’t read the note in his dad’s voice, but something about it had him tensing. “What rest?”

The quiet lengthened, but he didn’t push–his dad had respected his silence, Cam could do the same. When they reached the creek, his dad leaned against a large boulder and Cam hopped up and sat on the one next to it. And he waited.

“Most of this is remains classified,” his dad said at last, “but what I can tell you is that your mom’s CAT team was massacred and she was the only survivor. And when the rest of my team was murdered, she and I were alone on J Nine with a killer after us until help arrived from Earth. She saved my ass more than once during those weeks and I couldn’t have taken down the murderer without her.”

“Mom?” Cam’s eyes bugged out.

“Yes.” His dad looked over at him. “Mom. Still don’t think she’s tough enough to deal with my baggage or yours for that matter?”

Slowly, Cam shook his head, more in disbelief than in denial. “She must have her own nightmares.”

More silence, then, “It was dark and she couldn’t see anything. Mom discovered the bodies when she fell over them. When I found her, she was covered in the blood of her friends, so yeah, she has nightmares.”

Cam had a dozen questions, maybe more, but he fought off the need to ask them. Classified meant his dad probably couldn’t answer, but Cam put together a few pieces on his own. “This is a far different version of how you met than what you told us.”

Some of the grimness left his dad’s face. “Did you think we were going to give you the gritty details when you were a kid?”

No, because both his parents were protective and Cam doubted he would have been told any of this today if he hadn’t faced his own hell in battle. He couldn’t have truly appreciated how bad the situation had been way back then without the experience he’d had. “Dad? How do you put it behind you? How do you forget what you’ve seen, what you’ve done?”

“You never forget, but you learn to compartmentalize and you learn to live with the memories ambushing you from time to time. And believe it or not, it helps to talk about it with someone you trust.”

After mulling that over for a moment, Cam said, “I’m not ready to discuss it yet.”

“Fair enough, but if you can’t talk to me, remember, you’ve got your mom, too. And if you’re not comfortable bringing it up with either one of us, there are the friends you went into battle with or the army counselors, but don’t leave it locked up for too long. Trust me on this one.”

Cam nodded. He did trust his dad and his advice, but he needed more mental distance before he talked about what had happened with anyone and he wasn’t there yet.

End of Scene

Copyright 2010 by Patti O’Shea – All Rights Reserved.
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Daydream Believer

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

I was emailing with a friend recently and she commented on spending a lot of time daydreaming stories because it was easier than writing them. :-) That made me smile because it is so true. I’ve always had stories in my head. I’ve always tuned out the world and daydreamed them when I was bored. I only write a small fraction of those books.

When I first was published, I used to daydream the stories I was writing at the time. I swear that Ravyn and Damon from Ravyn’s Flight were in my head 24/7 for 18 months straight. No exaggeration–I even dreamed their story when I was asleep. But as time has progressed, I’ve stopped daydreaming the books I’m working on. Why? Because instead of relaxing me, it keys me up now.

For example, I always daydream my stories to send myself to sleep. If I use a story I’m writing, I sit there and mess with the words, trying to get them perfect. Then I start trying to commit them to memory so that I can write them the next day. Then I realize that I’ll never remember–I either have to get up and write it down or accept it’ll be gone forever.

This is stressful and my mind starts spinning and the next thing I know it’s 2am and I’m still lying in bed, not sleeping.

So now when I go to bed, I run stories in my head that I know I’ll never write. They’re stories where there isn’t enough plot for a book. Or maybe the plot is laughable. (I have this stranded-on-a-deserted-island kind of romance story I was playing through last week.) Or this is where I run through the what happens after the book ends scenes. (This week I’ve been getting a lot of scenes that happen after the end of Kel’s book, In the Darkest night.)

I enjoy all of these things for different reasons, but I think my favorite is seeing what my characters are up to after their book is over. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to daydream this, though. I’m beginning to kick myself for not writing down the scenes. You see, I’ve forgotten some of the ones for my earlier books and I regret not having that information now. And once this gets my brain spinning so that I can’t sleep, I’ll have to jettison it.

How cool would it be if there was some way to pick up the scenes in my head and transfer them right to a file? If I could just let my brain run without worrying about writing what I’m seeing/hearing down, I could just enjoy myself and I could go back to daydreaming stories I’m actually writing.

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Contest

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

A reviewer who read In the Darkest Night is having a contest on her blog to give away a copy of the book. You can check out her website here and enter the contest if you’d like. And while you’re over there, you can read Riley’s review of Darkest Night.

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How Real People Talk

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

There are times I read a story and wonder if the author has ever spent time listening to and registering how real people actually talk. It’s not only new writers who are susceptible to this, I’ve also seen authors that have been around for a while write dialogue that has me cringing.

The thing I see most–and it makes me absolutely crazy as a reader–is the constant use of names. Picture the scene. The hero and heroine are alone together, it’s a romantic moment, and every single time either of them open their mouth to speak, out comes the other one’s name. No one talks like that. Listen the next time you’re alone in the room with someone. How often do you use their name? How often do they use yours?

“Mary, you’re so beautiful.”

“Oh, John, you sweet talker.”

“I love your eyes, Mary, the way they sparkle when you laugh.”

“Kiss me, John, I need you.”

“Yes, Mary, I’m going to kiss you.”

If you think I’m exaggerating, you’d be wrong. I’ve read a few books like this recently, one by a very well-established author, that had exactly this kind of name use going on. Seriously. Every single freaking time a character talked, they used the other character’s name. It made me wince. It made me mutter. It made me wonder where the hell their editors were and why they didn’t point out how ridiculous it reads.

Writers, I challenge you to go through your Works In Progress (WIP) and cull this out. It’s horrible to read and jarring because no one–and I do mean no one ever–talks like this.

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A Little Cam Part 4

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

I added another page to the Cam and Damon scene I posted last week. I’ve included the original pages so that if you didn’t read it, there’s no need to search backward. Also, so that anyone who wants to read it in one fell swoop has it all in one place. I will try to post more next Sunday.

Warning: This is rough first draft and only part of the scene.

This story is copyright 2010 by Patti O’Shea. Please link to the story if you like, but do not copy.

* * *

Cameron Brody leaned back, propping both elbows on the deck railing, and looked inside the house.  His parents were in the kitchen, cleaning up after dinner and he could see them talking with each other.  There was a lot of smiling, frequent laughter, and he felt something around his heart ease.

Coming home on leave had been the right decision.

He’d almost stayed on post.  Cam knew he’d changed a lot since the last time he’d seen his family, but then battle did that to a man.

His brothers had taken off hours ago.  It was Friday night and they had things to do, places to be.  He’d never been all that close to them, but the age difference made it hard to relate.  Cam was twenty-four–he’d been through West Point and fought in the war.  His brothers were six and eight years younger–still in high school and more worried about the brand of jeans they wore than about things that really mattered.

As he watched, his dad danced his mom around the kitchen, and with a faint smile, Cam turned, resting his forearms on the railing.  He stared off into the woods that surrounded the property and allowed himself to enjoy the warmth of the summer evening.  All his life he’d had his parents’ love for each other and their love for him as a bulwark against the world.  It steadied something inside him to see nothing had changed, that their feelings continued to run deeply.  He wanted that, too.  Some day.

Cam sighed and watched the birds flit around the trees.  His dad had been in combat, he’d been part of Special Operations, and if he could make it through war, so could Cam.  But damn, he thought he’d been prepared.  His dad had told him what it was like, had been brutally frank about the ugliness of battle, and between that and the simulation training he’d taken, Cam had thought he’d be able to handle it easily.

He couldn’t.

Nothing could have prepared him to kill, to watch men around him fall to enemy fire.  Nothing could erase what he’d seen from his memory.  He leaned farther forward, dropping his head nearly to his hands.

“Are you okay?”

With a jerk, Cam straightened.  He hadn’t heard his dad come up and he hadn’t thought anyone would be able to get the drop on him, not as wound up as he was from being in the field.  “Fine.”

His dad looked skeptical, but instead of arguing, he invited, “Why don’t we take a walk?”

The urge to refuse was strong, but there was no good reason to say no.  There were hours of daylight left, and if he declined, it would probably lead to more pointed questions.  With a shrug, Cam capitulated.  “Sure.”

Parkland abutted the property, isolating them from civilization, and despite his worry about his dad quizzing him, they simply walked.  Early evening sunshine filtered through the leaves of the trees, dappling the path they were taking, a light breeze ruffled his hair, birds called to each other, and rabbits scurried away.  Jamming his hands in the pockets of his jeans, he focused on all this and tried to ignore the presence of his dad beside him.

But the silence begin to wear on him.  When was his dad going to say something?  There was no doubt he would and the waiting pulled Cam’s nerves taut.  Another ten minutes passed and he couldn’t take it anymore.  “Aren’t you going to interrogate me?”

“Did you want me to ask questions?”

Cam felt his dad’s eyes on him, but he kept his gaze straight ahead.  “No.”

“Then I won’t.”

What did that mean?  Cam turned the words over in his mind, but he didn’t find any answers.  Damn, his dad could be cryptic when he wanted to be.  Cam lost his focus on the trees, on the birds. The quiet coming from the man beside him seemed heavy, oppressive.

He cracked.  “When I close my eyes, all I see is blood.  I thought I could handle this, but I can’t seem to take it in stride, not like you did.”

“You think I escaped unscathed?”  His dad’s disbelief came through loud and clear.  “No one leaves war unaffected, certainly not me.  I still have nightmares about things that happened when I was your age.”

That stopped Cam in his tracks.  “You?” he asked, looking at his dad for the first time since they left the house.

“Yeah, me.”

“But you never said anything, not about any specific incident.”

“I don’t like to talk about it, something you should understand.”

Yeah, Cam didn’t have a lot of room to complain.  He didn’t want to discuss the stuff that he’d seen either.  “How much does Mom know?”

“Everything.”

He tried to wrap his mind around that.  “You told Mom?”

“We don’t have secrets, not about anything important.”

Yeah, he could see how close they were, but to share war stories?  “But Mom is delicate.”

Throwing his head back, his dad laughed.  “Damn, Cam,” he said when he had the amusement under control, “I thought you were more observant than that.”

Cam scowled.  “Mom’s tiny.”

“Compared to us, yes, she’s tiny, but she’s not delicate.  Your mom is as tough as they come, she’s had to be.”

Tough?  His mom?  “But you’re so protective of her.”

“Because she’s my world.”

The words were simple, but held so much emotion that Cam became uncomfortable and he had to look away.  He pulled his hands out of his pockets, found a broad tree trunk just off the path, and leaned against it.

“Sure, maybe Mom’s tough when it comes to facing down a teacher who’s been treating one of her kids unfairly, but no way is she tough enough to deal with the kinds of things we’ve seen.”

For a long moment, his dad stared at him and Cam wondered what he was thinking.  He didn’t have too long to wait.

“You know, your mom was on a Colonization Assessment Team.  They don’t send people who aren’t tough to planets light years away from Earth.  She was one of twenty on Jarved Nine–it takes a special kind of courage to be part of that.”

That gave Cam pause.  He’d known about the CAT assignment, but he hadn’t considered what it meant.  Not really.  He tried to imagine the isolation and couldn’t.  Pushing away from the tree, he said, “Let’s head to the creek.”

As they walked some more, he thought about his mom, but he couldn’t seem to switch his mindset about her.  “You know, I can’t even visualize that.  She’s just Mom.”

“Then the rest will blow your mind.”

Cam couldn’t read the note in his dad’s voice, but something about it had him tensing.  “What rest?”

The quiet lengthened, but he didn’t push–his dad had respected his silence, Cam could do the same.  When they reached the creek, his dad leaned against a large boulder and Cam hopped up and sat on the one next to it.  And he waited.

“Most of this is remains classified,” his dad said at last, “but what I can tell you is that your mom’s CAT team was massacred and she was the only survivor.  And when the rest of my team was murdered, she and I were alone on J Nine with a killer after us until help arrived from Earth.  She saved my ass more than once during those weeks and I couldn’t have taken down the murderer without her.”

“Mom?”  Cam’s eyes bugged out.

“Yes.”  His dad looked over at him.  “Mom.  Still don’t think she’s tough enough to deal with my baggage or yours for that matter?”

Slowly, Cam shook his head, more in disbelief than in denial.  “She must have her own nightmares.”

More silence, then, “It was dark and she couldn’t see anything.  Mom discovered the bodies when she fell over them.  When I found her, she was covered in the blood of her friends, so yeah, she has nightmares.”

Cam had a dozen questions, maybe more, but he fought off the need to ask them.  Classified meant his dad probably couldn’t answer, but Cam put together a few pieces on his own.  “This is a far different version of how you met than what you told us.”

Some of the grimness left his dad’s face.  “Did you think we were going to give you the gritty details when you were a kid?”

No, because both his parents were protective and Cam doubted he would have been told any of this today if he hadn’t faced his own hell in battle.  He couldn’t have truly appreciated how bad the situation had been way back then without the experience he’d had.  “Dad?  How do you put it behind you?  How do you forget what you’ve seen, what you’ve done?”

To Be Continued

Copyright 2010 by Patti O’Shea – All Rights Reserved.

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Just About 25 More Days

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

I have another awesome review in for In the Darkest Night! This one is from Riley’s Reviews. She says:

I love the Light Warriors series. In a market saturated with vampires and were-beasties, Ms. O’Shea’s world of magic-users who eat solid food and don’t turn furry is a wonderful breath of fresh air.

I loved everything about this book. The action was fast-paced, the plotting intricate and well-written, and the characterization and dialogue spot-on. Their chemistry , both sexual and emotional, absolutely sizzles off the pages.

How cool is this? (The “their” in the last sentence refers to Kel and Farran, BTW.)

Seeing positive reactions is one of the fun things about release date drawing closer–In the Darkest Night comes out March 30th. I love it when people love my books. :-)

BTW, tomorrow it will be 25 days until In the Darkest Night releases. Not that I’m counting or anything.

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Adventures In Hat Shopping

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

You’d think finding a winter hat in a neutral color wouldn’t be that difficult. You’d be wrong. Or at least I couldn’t find one when I started looking in December. Maybe I’m too picky, but I didn’t want a knit cap that would smoosh down my hair and leave it full of static electricity when I pulled it off.

When it quickly became apparent that the stores were sold out, I tried online shopping. I found a couple that were okay, but when I tried to order them, they were all out of stock. I kept searching and coming up empty.

I thought I’d finally hit the jackpot when I found a hat seller on eBay. Okay, so they were located in Asia, the hat was cheap, the shipping wasn’t outrageous, and it was cute. I ordered it and waited impatiently for it to arrive. It finally came folded up in an envelope that left permanent creases in it. I decided those would work their way out eventually and it really was cute. I tried it on and discovered it was tight, but the big problem was that it didn’t go down over my ears. Since I didn’t want to wear an earmuff in addition to a hat, this wasn’t going to work.

I continued to wear my old hat. This hat is wool and super cute, but the color clashes with my new jacket and it’s a huge Glamour Don’t to wear the two together. It’s bad enough that one of my engineers noticed and commented on it. I resumed my hat search. Unsuccessfully.

Then I received an email from a shoe website I frequent. Hats!

Immediately, I clicked over. Most of what I saw was for men and I didn’t like a lot of the rest, but there was one hat for women that was cute. Afraid that this, too, would be sold out in neutral colors, I clicked through and surprise, they had them! Wow, half price, in stock, neutral color and cute! Awesome. I placed my order.

My hat arrived yesterday. In a box so big that I couldn’t figure out what was on my doorstep until I read the return address. I opened it and they had it packed with paper to help it keep its shape. Again, awesome. Not like the other hat that arrived all folded up. I unwrapped my new hat. My excitement diminished. I could see through the weave of the hat–that couldn’t be warm.

I tried it on. It fit. It was cute. I could flip up the front brim. The only problem was that it sure didn’t feel like a winter hat. I examined it more closely and discovered it’s a summer hat! No wonder they had them in stock!

Now that it’s March, I guess I’ll give up the hat shopping. If it wasn’t in stock in December, I’m sure not going to find a warm, cute winter hat now. I guess I’ll have to hat shop in July if I want something neutral and non-smooshy. I just hate the idea of thinking about winter clothes in summer. There’s something wrong with that.

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Sorry

Sunday, February 28th, 2010

Sorry, no blog today. I’m still feeling miserable.

Humorous  Pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

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RT Book Reviews

Thursday, February 25th, 2010

Romantic Times Book Reviews says about In the Darkest Night:

O’Shea has another winner. Equal parts passion and horror blend to create one great read.


This is on the heels of my starred Publishers Weekly review where this book was called “a riveting thrill ride.”

I’m excited that this book is being so well received! Kel is very special to me and he just grabbed me hard and wouldn’t let go.

And I’m sick right now, so I hope you’ll forgive the short blog post. I can’t focus well enough to write much of anything.

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A Few Too Many People

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

Yesterday I cut a 6 page scene from the Work In Progress (WIP). It hurt to do it, but the feedback was right on the money.

This scene was in the Point of View (POV) of a character who wouldn’t appear again until the third (and final) book of the series and I doubt he’d have another POV scene. The comment I received was that I was verging on the cast of thousands and that I’m giving this character a lot of importance by giving him a scene like this.

The first comment was dead-on. I’d been worrying about that myself, but ignored that little voice in my head. So far in not that many pages, I’d introduced my heroine and a friend of hers. I’d introduced the hero, one of his friends, some of his coworkers, and the hero from the third book. The coworkers were more of a hey, hi kind of thing, so they weren’t too overwhelming, I hope. But using this very minor character’s POV tipped it over the edge.

The second comment about it making him seem like a major character is also accurate. I’ve done POV from minor characters before, but they’ve always been reoccurring throughout the book, as in if you had Seth’s POV once, you got it four, five, six more times. I also dropped the first of those scenes deeper into the story, after the major characters are established. Not so in this case. This would have been very early in the book and it gave the character importance that he doesn’t hold. He’s a catalyst for book 3, but doesn’t need a scene in his head for this role.

I also had another problem that my friend didn’t mention–I felt like some of the information given in the scene was repetitive. The cut pages were necessary before I added the prologue that set up the world, but after I revamped where the book opened, it became superfluous.

So there were very valid and sound reasons for cutting and I couldn’t come up with a single strong reason to keep the scene. Aside from the fact that I didn’t want to lose 6 pages off my total. :-) Yes, a very weak reason. I cut the scene and the pages. It hurt. I’ll recoup them, though–as soon as I figure out what happens next.

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